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Posts Tagged ‘Heaven’

Rush for your Salvation Certificate!

Posted by ILL Natured_gr on December 9, 2007

After finding the “Reserve A Spot In Heaven” website i would never have imagined what i would discover right after…

A certificate of Salvation for ONLY $19.95 !!!

You must rush though – the end time is near (Dec-14-07 19:04:13 PST) …

HURRY UP! CLICK HERE

Here’s the certificate’s description (from ebay)

GET OUT OF HELL!

This isn’t a joke.. Absolution and a beautiful certificate from an LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER in the USA!

You are bidding on a beautiful certificate, signed and blessed by an Ordained Minister, guaranteeing you salvation from HELL! No matter what your sin, you can and will be forgiven in the eyes of your Lord.

In order to receive this certificate, you must confess your sins to the Minister (all confessions are protected speech). He will then absolve you of your sins and issue you a keepsake certificate personally signed by the Minister and personalized.

You are not actually paying for the certificate or the absolution–instead your are paying the Minister for his time in creating the certificate. Of course, you can be absolved and confess your sins without receiving the certificate, but, a donation is appreciated in any event.

The amount you pay may be tax deductable as this is issued from an Ordained Minister; all Churches fall under a non-profit 501(c)(3) status.

This isn’t a joke; the person who will forgive your sins and issue the certificate IS A LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER!

Get piece of mind, and instant salvation!

Shipping is INCLUDED in the cost.

*PLEASE NOTE: While your LORD may forgive you, this certificate will not help you win a lawsuit or a criminal case. But, it WILL help you stay out of HELL! Rest assured that you will be with your loved ones after death!

What are you waiting for?

BUY YOURS NOW!

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Site of the day : Reserve A Spot In Heaven

Posted by ILL Natured_gr on December 6, 2007

Reserve A Spot In Heaven
The most bizarre site i came across in a long time…

Taken from the site : “Going Up? Space is Limited! Reserve your Spot Now!”
  “SECURE YOUR PLACE IN HEAVEN NOW…OR RISK ETERNAL DAMNATION”

Checkout the Essential and All Access Travel Kits ($12.79 and $24.95 acc./limited quantities available).

All major credit cards acceptable (Paypal accepted too).

So,what are you waiting for? Buy your Travel Kit now!!!

Reserve A Spot In Heaven

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